#IHateInfertility

Six years ago my husband and I made a decision to reverse my tubal ligation and try for a child together.  It seems almost like a lifetime ago.  A friend I met through a group on Facebook has went through the journey with me.  She had her tubal corrected after I had mine done.  We have spent many days venting to each other about the trials and tribulations of our journeys.  Both turned out completely different than what we had expected.  We both expected to have children resulting from the surgery without any problems conceiving.  She and I both ended up taking jobs at Starbucks in an effort to be able to do IVF.  My insurance never activated through Starbucks since they never could supply me with enough hours to qualify.  I ended up quitting and my current job doesn’t offer insurance for anything beyond finding out why conception has happened.  Back in 2013, at the end of the year, I had insurance that covered IVF and the job lasted long enough for us to figure out why and to make the appointment to be able to plan out our IVF journey.  Then I was let go from the job for which ended up being poor training.   What causes our infertility?  I had polyps but had a DNC to have them removed March of 2014.  His  count and quality isn’t sufficient to do it on our own without assistance.  I have cried and prayed for a miracle and we did end up conceiving January 2013 but it ended in an early miscarriage 2/14/2013.  We know the polyps caused the loss.  Fetus and polyp blood don’t go well together and it is fatal for the fetus.  I feel the baby was a boy so when I make reference to the pregnancy I always say our son.  He would have turned four this October.  There are days I question why we have not been able to find a way to have a baby together but in the end every time we find a way something happens to sabotage it.  My friend tried IVF once and though she got pregnant it was not a viable pregnancy and she lost the baby.  It was really hard on her but she wanted to try one more time since the insurance still had something left for it.  She is now 10 weeks pregnant with her rainbow baby and this baby has a heart rate of 170bpm.  I am happy one of us will have a baby in the end of things.  I even asked her to let me know gender asap so I can get started on making a few things for her baby.  She and the father are not always on the best of terms but I am happy she is able to finally have her happy ending of sorts and new beginnings.  One can hope her husband comes around and gets this act together for her and the baby.

Sometimes I just hope one of my cycles work.  Yes I would be hard considering all we have going on but it would be a blessing to be able to complete our family.  My hubby has no biological children but has taken on the role of father in the lives of our three children.  It would be a gift to be able to give him another child.  Maybe some prayers would help?  I don’t see us being able to ever do IVF at this point unless we won the lottery or came into some major cash flow.  Who knows?  Anything is possible.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s